Monday Morning Leadership 
                                 8 Mentoring Sessions You Can’t Afford to Miss 
                                                             Notes by Frumi Rachel Barr, MBA, Ph.D. 
          Author: David Cottrell 
          Publisher: Cornerstone Leadership Institute 
          Copyright year: 2002 
          ISBN: 0-9719424-3-9 
          Author’s Bio:  David Cottrell is an authority on leadership. He has written more than 20 books on the 
          subject and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn to be better managers and leaders 
          through his thought-provoking presentations. 
          His books are easy to read and provide situations that business people can easily relate to in learning 
          to be better leaders and managers—they are trusted leadership training tools for organizations 
          throughout the world. 
          Author’s big thought: This book is a story with lessons that can be immediately applied to life. It is 
          about a manager and his mentor.  Monday Morning Leadership offers unique encouragement and 
          direction to help become a better manager, employee and person. 
           
          Prologue 
          Things weren’t going well for Jeff. For several years he had been a relatively successful manager for a 
          Fortune 500 company but now he was in a slump. He was working harder than he ever had, but he was 
          going nowhere. He barely saw his kids. His marriage was suffering. His health was not the best. He was 
          struggling in every part of his life. 
           
          At work, his team was also feeling the effects of his slump. People were upset. Business was slow – real 
          slow – and the pressure on them to improve performance was rapidly hitting the “unbearable” level. 
          To be honest, he was ready to give up because his doubts about his leadership abilities were 
          overwhelming the confidence he once had. 
           
          He was at a loss. 
           
          He was at the point where he needed to talk to someone – someone who would listen and offer 
          suggestions without judging him. 
           
          Tony was the type of person Jeff aspired to be – wise, respected, confident and a highly sought-after 
          speaker and mentor. But right now Jeff was a long way from becoming the person he wanted to be. 
          ceoconfidante@frumi.com        www.100mustreads.com                                1 
                  
                 After debating whether or not to call Tony, Jeff finally decided that he had nothing to lose. His life was 
                 careening out of control and something needed to change. 
                  
                 After explaining some of the problems he was encountering, Tony agreed to work with Jeff only if he 
                 would commit to two things: 
                  
                      1.  Tony said that he was not interested in helping Jeff solve his problems. Tony was interested in 
                            helping Jeff become a better person and leader and that would require spending some 
                            significant time together. If Jeff would commit to meeting with Tony every Monday for eight 
                            weeks, Tony would be glad to help. 
                      2.  Tony also asked Jeff to commit to teach others the lessons and experiences that he would be 
                            sharing with Jeff. Tony said none of Jeff’s problems were unique and that others could learn 
                            from Tony’s experiences. 
                  
                 As it turned out, those eight meetings – Jeff’s “Monday Mornings with Tony” – were the best meetings 
                 Jeff attended in his life. The thought of “gracefully bowing out of sessions” never again crossed his 
                 mind. 
                  
                 The First Monday - Drivers and Passengers 
                  
                 Tony arrived late for the first Monday, blaming his tardiness on the rain. After several minutes of 
                 catching up, Tony said it was time to get down to business. 
                  
                 Tony began by setting some ground rules for to follow in order to make the best use of their meetings. 
                            Start and finish on time 
                            Tell the truth 
                            Try something different 
                  
                 Jeff’s Issues 
                  
                            Business was getting tougher. Most of his team was still intact, but some of the performance 
                            issues he once ignored were now affecting his division’s performance in a big way – and by 
                            “big” he meant they were becoming threats to his job. 
                  
                            He was working hard – long hours – but the business indicators were telling him things were 
                            pretty bad. He wasn’t very happy and the people on his team weren’t happy. Their results 
                            reflected their frustrations. 
                  
                 Tony’s Advice 
                  
                            When it comes to leading people, there are few problems that are unique.  Anyone with 
                            experience has had to face the same issues, the same frustrations. Furthermore, Jeff was facing 
                 ceoconfidante@frumi.com                                 www.100mustreads.com                                                                         2 
                            some challenges and seeking an outsider’s advice was a good move. Everyone needs people 
                            who will help us look at situations from a different perspective. 
                            If Jeff wanted to be extraordinary, the first thing he had to do was stop being ordinary. Wanting 
                            to be liked and just one of the guys is natural. But as a leader, Jeff’s team should like and 
                            respect him for the right reasons. 
                            If Jeff’s team likes him because he is fair, consistent, empathetic or a positive person – that’s 
                            great.  But if they like him because he provides them with free dinners and drinks, what has he 
                            gained? Jeff was setting himself up for failure somewhere along the way. If Jeff’s goals were to 
                            get everyone to like him, he would avoid making tough decisions because of his fear of 
                            upsetting his “friends.” 
                            Transitioning from employee to manager or manager to leader requires that making different 
                            decisions. Those transitions can sometimes create challenges in every other area of life as well. 
                            Car passengers are free to do a lot of things the driver can’t do. As a driver, Jeff’s focus needed 
                            to be on the road and not on the distractions. As a driver, Jeff no longer has the right to ‘mess 
                            around’ – like listening to loud music – even though it seems okay to do that as a passenger. 
                            The same principle applies for managers, like Jeff, to become a leader. He can no longer be a 
                            passenger; he must become the driver. Even though responsibilities increase when you become 
                            a manager, you lose some of the rights or freedoms you may have enjoyed in the past. 
                            To be successful as a leader, managers don’t have the right to join employee ‘pity parties’ and 
                            talk about upper management. They lose the right to blame others for a problem in their 
                            department as a manager and leader. As manager, he is the person responsible for everything 
                            that happens in his department, and that can be pretty hard to swallow. 
                            Managers even lose the right to some of their time because they are responsible for other 
                            people’s time as well as their own. 
                            The opposite of accepting responsibility is to find someone or something to blame for the 
                            issues you’re facing. Of course, there is always someone or something to blame, but a real 
                            leader spends his time fixing the problem instead of finding someone to blame.  
                            What happens when you place blame is that you focus on the past. When you accept 
                            responsibility, you focus on this time forward – on the future. Until you accept total 
                            responsibility – no matter what – you won’t be able to put plans in place to accomplish your 
                            goals. 
                            You have control over how you react to situations. If you eliminate blame – don’t even have the 
                            word in your vocabulary – then you can make some positive changes. 
                            Tony handed Jeff a blue spiral notebook with the words “Monday Mornings with Tony” 
                            handwritten across the cover. He instructed Jeff to keep track of what was discussed.  When 
                            you write things down, you commit to doing them. 
                  
                 The Second Monday - Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing 
                  
                 Jeff drove into Tony’s driveway at 8:20. He learned something about responsibility last week since he 
                 made some different decisions that allowed him to be there on time. 
                  
                 Jeff’s Issue 
                 ceoconfidante@frumi.com                                 www.100mustreads.com                                                                         3 
                  
                            Jeff explained that the rats won the race again last week.  He had so many things coming at him 
                            from so many different directions, it was hard for him to get anything done and done well. 
                            Jeff has fifteen people reporting to him. His department also has two open positions. Jeff’s 
                            boss, Karen, is demanding – and that’s putting it mildly. The team seems to get less and less 
                            accomplished. As soon as they put out one fire another pops up. 
                  
                 Tony’s Advice 
                  
                 Tony advised that Jeff’s job was not crisis management. There are some basic questions that require 
                 answers at this point: 
                  
                            o  Why do you have two open positions? 
                            o  Why did these team members leave? 
                            o  Why do you think everyone on your team knows they’re supposed to be doing if they’re not 
                                 doing it? 
                            o  What are your priorities? 
                  
                            They must ‘keep the main thing the main thing’. The ‘main thing’ was the purpose or priority. If 
                            everyone on the team knows the main thing, it helps everyone focus on what is important. 
                            The main thing is really three things: 
                            o  Equip employees with the tools to be successful 
                            o  Provide outstanding service to customers 
                            o  Make a profit 
                            When you depend on another’s perceptions to match your expectations, you’re setting yourself 
                            up for disappointment. Ask some questions…you may be surprised by your team members’ 
                            answers. 
                            Try to understand why people choose to leave a manager’s team. It’s a natural tendency (but 
                            not an accurate perception) to blame pay, benefits, upper management, salary administration, 
                            and other factors for someone’s resignation. People normally don’t leave because of those 
                            reasons. People leave because their manager is not meeting their needs. People quit people 
                            before they quit companies. 
                            For managers to be successful and provide employees with the necessary tools for them to be 
                            successful, manager and boss must work together – no matter what. 
                            Managers need to take the time to manage their boss the same way they manage their 
                            subordinates. Both manager and boss should find out specifically what they each need from 
                            each other. They need to understand what they can do to help each other accomplish their 
                            main things. 
                  
                  
                  
                  
                  
                 ceoconfidante@frumi.com                                 www.100mustreads.com                                                                         4